Interference, Free Will, Prayer, and Autonomy

With respect to George and his various incarnations, attitude toward me, et al. Claire [Higher Self] pointed out that he was 'Much too attached to his creation [me] to give good advice about the role'. Pygmalion and Galatea. ( the Greek myth of Pygmalion, a sculptor who fell in love with a statue he had carved.) He created this role among the first that he did when he started doing that as his work. Claire has rather derisively referred to me as his 'dolly'. He is the Junior Teacher/Guide, which I didn't appreciate fully until relatively recently. Claire's thesis, with which I concur, is that he is 'too close to the subject' to advise properly. He has, in effect, an agenda.


Franz is the Senior Teacher and is much better at advice, though he has his biases as well (his last incarnation - Franz Liszt - became a Secular Franciscan and a lay Abbot of a monastery after he had had two LT relationships and two illegitimate daughters, whom he acknowledged - one of whom married Richard Wagner. HIS bias was that his time working at the Abbey was so full of rest and peace that he thought it would be good for me to 'work for the Church'. I knew on the first day that it was a bad idea, but I needed a job....)

As to practical advice, George's  last incarnation was hopeless about money and practical things. Everyone knew it. His father in law gave G's wife an allowance, without which they would not have survived (he only made the equivalent of about 20K a year as a teacher).

And then there's Byron, his other famous incarnation. Let's leave aside the moral questions and focus on the BiPolar Disorder, of which spendthrift habits are a common symptom. In one year only -1813-14 - Byron spent the equivalent of $30Million, with drafts every couple of days for months on end.

Would you take life advice from this man?

Then there was the $64M question: I had gone to Riverside to meet my brother Greg for lunch (halfway) and on the way back, I was coming up the Hill and apropos of nothing I had the wit to ask George what did the Life Council say to him to get him to convince me to come back here after my sister died and I was having NDEs every other day (as everyone else was against it - George, Claire, Franz, Amy who was my sister).

Because if you ASK, they have to tell you the truth. Well, I reckon he was hoping that it would not come up because he looked awfully uncomfortable, and he said,

'They said it would allow my experiment to continue' [ That is, the creation of this role, - me - of which he was rather chuffed.]

Wow. Ego.

I was furious, and told him to get stuffed. Fix this mess we are in and maybe I will talk to you again.

He has since been away from the Villa except for once, on his own course work. I talk to Franz, often to Claire, but George has made himself scarce, because he knows I am not kidding. It is the worst personal betrayal since incarnating a long time ago in a galaxy far far away (which was also his idea. 'It'll be fun, we can have adventures.')

Hrm.

I should say that he IS very good with other people, because he is neutral or benignly neutral about them This is the same reason that Franz is better with me, because he is  [mostly] neutral.

I can hear your objections to some of this, mainly that those finished incarnating are still subject to a learning curve. Yes. Until the mid-Causal - or Mental - Plane. Yes they are.
The Mental Plane: The First Heaven
 The Mental Plane: The Second Heaven
The Mental Plane: The Third Heaven

George is only at the level of the mid part of the lower Mental Plane. He has a way to go. He is getting there, learning and worked. Making mistakes is how we learn.
He won't forget this one.

A friend of mine who is a 'brother' of sorts to George made the comment some years ago that Claire has caught them up very quickly, in relative terms. She is in the lower part of the Mental plane, after having been far far below them in age and experience not so very long ago, relatively speaking - a couple of cycles ago.

In answer to why can't I just 'skip over to another timeline' as is popularly supposed in the New Age community, A distinction must be drawn between my self and Claire (Self). We are and are not the same thing. In the Michael teaching, individuals are referred to as 'fragments' and this is valid. Each individual lifetime is its own 'thing' and does not have all the knowledge of the Higher Self. We cannot simply bootstrap ourselves to that level (as scientologist acquaintances of mine seem to think.) Neither does the individual have all the knowledge of other fragments of the HS,which aren't necessarily in the same 'reincarnational' line as oneself, unless there is some reason to have it. All are 'Me' but not all are 'me', if you get my drift.

And there is the matter of 'interference' by certain negatively oriented densities (up til the mid-5th  density one can be negatively oriented) in the over-arching world plot and individuals' lives. It has been brought to my attention several times that there are those who are interfering at high levels - as in with the Committees which create the big, worlds plots, which I think is valid based on my observations. Why? because they can. (It also places the level of the Committees, because if they were in the upper Mental plane, they could not be influenced (interfered with).

This discussion goes right back to the nature of the 'local sub-logos' (what most people mean when they refer to 'God') as my Canadian friend Mark calls it. I mentioned once to him that I perceived that not only was 'God' not the Ultimate or Source, but that there was (at least) one 'above' that before one reached Source, the Tao ,All that is , whatever. and he responded with his 'local sub-logos' comment.

These are the limits of my understanding, my personal observations. I know the planes between the Mental and the 'local sub-logos' as charted vibrationally and from the teachers who come from there and talk to us in large groups There. But that is all.

None of this helps one whit with the extreme density of the physical plane, so-called free will, being interfered with here (because they can and are allowed to because 'free will' and 'all experiences are data'.) We're not 'on our own' here -we do have help and guidance, but we are responsible for our own experience here. Hail Mary plays (to use a football term) from discarnate friends are not always allowed. Yes prayer works - mostly to combat the negativity and interference, so far as I have been able to see. We're supposed to do the best we can once we get here, and if we get waylaid, well, someone else will do whatever later (like the instance of Tesla's work being railroaded and finally taken up again by others now.) Time doesn't mean very much to the Committee. Not does personal suffering. It's all fodder for the game.

And if that sounds like the Hunger Games, well. Yes.

Angels

My next youngest sibling, my dear brother Greg, is in the hospital at this moment, while cardiologists are trying to figure out the cause of his manifold blood clots in various organs. He who has been through so much already - including cancer twice. He had been having knee pain (from an old injury, he thought). Then his leg swelled up. Happily, our brother Tom was visiting and mentioned DVT and embolisms. It was caught in time. Everyone is worried of course, including my brother, from his mamma, my dear stepmom, to old childhood friends. He is in good hands, however, and not just here.

We were out on an errand, and I had a very clear strong picture of Dad, our grandparents Mudd and JT as well as dear stepmom's mother Gert, all There, all lending energy and love and focus to the situation. As Dad said ' You Think I'm going to let him Die?!' I repeated this to my brother, slightly amended.

It's a rather scary way to know it for certes, but it is very true that we are NEVER ALONE. Our guides, and beloved ones There are always looking out for us.

I love you, Pops.

Captain of my Ship

Franz:
As to how to be a creator, the suggestion made by your friend [Frank DeMarco in The Cosmic Internet] to 'remote view your own life' is not a bad one, with some cautions about letting your  ego-mind magnify fears [Think Rimmer in red Dwarf in the holoworlds].
K; So, visualisation.
F: Yes but visualisation from the viewpoint of 'sensiing vectors', of looking at the avenues that are possible from your current standpoint of choices.  Every choice closes certain possibilities and opens others in your prospective futures. Some are malleable - you can go back - but others are not (such as choices that lead to dropping the body).

Guidance

Some might wonder what the point or purpose of guidance is, if we are here, supposedly to interact with this plane, learn to make choices, and 'do things ourselves' with 'delayed consequences'. Good question! Claire had this to say:

K: Is it possible to be 'at cause' in one's 3D life, or is this New Age hokum?
C: What do you think this conversation is, if not being at cause? [as opposed to being a victim?]

Then Franz:
F: What must be considered is who or what is exerting control? Higher Self? The Life Council? Various resonances of 'other selves'? The basic, unmediated embryonic ego? You can see that discerning who or what is very important.

In the present case, it would be fair to say that the persona (ego plus soul inserted into the body) wants to have a greater hand in ' shaping matters'. To do this I would suggest that you follow the instructions for shaping matter: visualisation, putting out energy of a particular need or desire to those who can fulfill it, then 'checking in' with one of us as to whether it is on course for the life plan, so as to avoid wasted effort.

I don;t mean to say that you should do this with every little decision or choice in your life, but the larger ones would benefit from such checking in. It is of benefit to study how this works so as not be be forever bashing your head against brick walls, as you would say.

Parts of Self and Choice

In discussing the facilitation of goals with Franz today, a continuance of a previous conversation about the threads or resonance or Other [past] personalities of self occurred.

F: If your goal is to have a peaceful, financially stable life, then you must make inner and outer choices which facilitate this. If you wish, conversely, to 'rely solely on guidance and go wherever the wind takes you', this involves an entirely different set of choices; choices which are not being, I point out, entirely in keeping (harmony) with either your persona or the various threads (consciousnesses, 'lifetimes') active now in your make-up.

K:With regard to that, it would be interesting to see their orientations, views, and 'who's steering the ship', as it were.

F: Very well. A dossier:
Ancel [Master of the Scriptorium at Salisbury, 13th C] - contributes logic, and attention to craft and its preservation. His overriding attribute is analysis of the intersection of soul and spirit.

Bekka [Minor member of the Hapsburg family, a good faith offering to the Reich] performance of duty, putting self last. You are perceiving that her influence is largely detrimental  to your persona in terms of development, but she facilitates interface with your present culture's expectations.

Patty [Jefferson] this one has been self-deprecating to a self-destructive degree, but contributes a 'romantic' (feeling based) sensibility and love of beauty necessary to your work.

Molly [Pianist, wife of a university don] contributes logic in a practical manner - which is helpful in integrating the business world, and a very deep sense of beauty.

Ellie [Appalachian seamstress] this one also has  extremely self-deprecating tendencies, and the habit of following along, not standing up for herself. But she too has skill in craft, a good business sense and sense of beauty.

In all cases of the self-deprecating threads, it is important to separate out what is useful in their influence from what is not, which may not be apparent as such at first glance.

***
I then circled all the positives, for future reference and discussion with the personas. In the case of Bekka, I asked myself how I could avail of her facility with cultural expectations without descending into that 'loss of self' that was a hallmark of her life. I decided to use her (pardon the term) for those things that make life easy and pleasant: cleaning, cooking, baking, home craft. (Let her be a housewife) - which is where that desire comes from (in me), because she never got to except partly at the end of her life after the war.

I had then a strong sense of incoming information. and realised that I needed to change her outcome (she died as part of the infamous resistance after the war.) Several possibilities presented themselves, some humorous, such as running off with General Sepp Dieterich - a joke between them - but the most cohesive with her own life was to get her and her child Karl to Switzerland and be reunited with her Hapsburg relatives (beloved Uncle Otto and so on), as it was from them she was taken as a young child. It would be completing the circle.

Earthrise Over Mars

This, Babies. This. PAY ATTENTION!
So I was watching the ending scene of the Last of the Mohicans, where Chingachgook is outlining all the CHANGE that WILL COME,
RIGHT THEN, I am also reading THIS in 'The Cosmic Internet' (by my editor Frank DeMarco) - the words belong to his HS, guides, and friends There:

'Consider the work if you will, to be that of creating and infusing with energy a visualisation, a new archetype, a container. Your society is tearing itself apart because you are in the time of a new birth. AID THAT BIRTH!... Your society may now be considered for the first time in RECORDED history all the subspecies of the planet. You are a global civilisation. Those who cannot create rely upon those who can. It requires much less to adhere to a new vision than to obtain and co-shape it. Your work is to help shape the vision so that your fellows - many of whom will hate your for the work! - may benefit. It is a great and a rare privilege to participate in the coalescence of a new civilisation; rarer to participate in a new form of civilisation; rarest of all -your fate - to also participate in the coming to consciousness of a new way of being human.'

This is why I am here, this is what I have always been about. Not only me. But others. You know who you are. And you know exactly why you have put up with all the dross and ignorance and darkness and stupidity. You know what we are building. Do not forget. Stand fast. Stand fast.

Caveat Emptor

An instructive conversation with Claire, regarding Life, Manifestation, and 'internal' or 'pastlife' influences. It appears that the Life Councils have not only responsibility for approval of a particular role (life) and the review process, but also of 'course corrections' along the way. Additionally, playing by the rules of the game here (in whatever one is doing) apparently cannot be circumvented. I understand that this applies to 'black opps' and 'secret societies' as much as to being a brick-layer or corporate financier. This conversation wasn't a 'feel good' boost (They aren't There solving all our problems for us), but it was interesting. I hope it 'proves' to someone that this isn't all a lot of hooey.

Meeting in Green Room of Theatre, on the squashy sofa. [Meetings here are the 'softer, kinder gentler' version of meetings onstage. All have to do with interactions in the 3D]

C: How can I help you?

K: I need assistance getting an income that will support me. It's all very well to 'belong to timelessness', but I have to pay my bills, keep a roof over my head, and food on the table. Same old problems.

C: have you taken into account what Franz said recently? [about work relating to former writings]

K: Yes. But I'm seeing no signs of it. So I don't trust it. I put in applications every day and nothing comes back. I send to agents and nothing comes back. I need assistance. I need a miracle.

C: Your council granted assistance.

K: Not seeing any sign of that either.

C: So you're feeling discouraged.

K: To put it mildly. As I mentioned to a friend just now, what use is knowing and seeing all this, how it works, when it makes not a blind bit of difference to practical life? Whoopie, I 'inspire people'. I shall inspire them ever so when I am dead because of lack of funds, meds, help. I just don't understand WHY the only things I have ever done to keep myself are also soul killing and debilitating to my adrenal condition.

C: Because you have settled for, allowed those things, when you found they were draining.

K: I have to get a living. No trust fund. None of my books has made me rich. Brother Rabbit has not. Even Williamsburg, much as I loved it, was very part-time. In fine, this life reads better than it lives, and I feel that I don't belong here, that the world doesn't need or want me.

C: belonging, again. Because you cannot thrive.

K: To heck with thrive, I just want to break even. I object to the 'do whatever it takes' philosophy, when no shops around here will hire me because I haven't food experience in decades, no business down the hill because … I don't know why.

C: Understand that I am not criticising you. I am in fact taking notes.

K:?

C: to present to the Council.

K: I see. Well thank you.

C: I recognise better than you do what factors are at play in the game. 

K... I had the cognition the other day that the personality and the 'sub'elements' if you will – other resonances [life-roles] that are affecting this personality – are in conflict in terms of desires. On the one hand, personality wants to immerse itself in the Brother Rabbit model of business (but there is no income from which to do that now) AND wants to leave. The various sub-factors want to 1) write and study anthro [Mary Anne O'Malley]; 2) Study the arcane [Ancel]; 3)stay home and manage things [Molly, Patty]; 4) go home (in both senses) [Ellie]. I can see how and when all these factors were or are at play in my life. Are there more?

C: Everything going on here. I know that your life there seems pointless to you, and has done for many years with the exception of the children. 'The effect of choice and the consequences of choice'. The affection and gratitude with which you are regarded is no small accomplishment, by the way. But as you say, 'that's nice, it doesn't put bread on the table.' WE are aware of this – Franz, George, and myself. Your Council is aware of it (through your and our repeated updates.) WE are working to try to change matters, change their minds regarding interference.

K: The maxim goes ' if you don't like something in your life, the way it's turned out, work to change it.' Well doing so, or going for 'what I wanted and am good at' has only resulted in material hardship, if not ruin, over and over. It is this which has got me down.

C: The part which is left out of that maxim is 'following the rules of the game you are playing'. Your problems have come from trying to skip several steps, unknowing that there were steps.

K: Great. I thought I was following signs correctly.

C: The rules of the game there still adhere.

K: So, what do I do?
C: as I have said, keep doing what you're doing. For our part, we're working on it, with other players there, with the Council. It will take a little while. But there are very promising leads.

K ...Thanks...

Gatekeeper

Yesterday, a friend of ours died. Between the notice of her still being on life support early in the morning and our arrival shortly before noon, so many things went down, not least realising WHY George was unexpectedly back from his learning session early. It is one of his jobs to act as 'ferryman', which he has done for many years of our time. It was only 'since' his life as George Mallory that that expression has been the one to show up, on Everest and elsewhere. He is not the only ferryman of course; he has his regions, while others have theirs.

My purpose was also front and centre as we made our way down our mountain to the hospital. I am the gatekeeper, as in the one who sits in front of the labyrinth. I'm here to make sure people who are transitioning understand that they are doing so, that they will be met (by George, their own guides, family and other beloveds), and that they will be taken care of. I am also there to reassure the bereaved that we go on. That they may talk to their beloved any time they wish. That the communication flows both ways.

I have played this role so many times in this life, by 'accident' and by intent. The message, the thread, if you will (thinking of Theseus here in the great labyrinth of Crete) is of primary importance to the various components that make up this 'I' here. In the simplest terms, it is why I am here, to prod the memories of others, to reassure them of what they know: we go on. You are not alone. You will be taken care of. That sounds pretty basic, elementary. But in these critical times of birth and death (I also welcome the incomings, and remind them that they are still connected to all that is There) my presence alone has helped people. It is my service here. Kindness. Compassion. Support.

It's not about fame, or money, or the gratitude of others. It is about the doing. Like Hester Prynne, 'when came the dawn the helpful inmate was no more to be found, shunning both praise and recompense'... They are reminding me to 'finish the line'. so I shall: 'it might be pride, but it was so like humility that it worked a change of hearts on the people of the town toward her, a softness which she neither wanted, nor, perhaps, deserved.'

At any rate, I am grateful always to bear witness to these powerful, critical times. It is an honour to serve.

Thank you, Michelle. We love you.

Advice from Dad

Yesterday afternoon, I had a message from my Dad: 'pay close attention to your meeting tomorrow, as it will be of benefit to your search [for enough gainful employment here on the Hill.]'

I found this interesting, because Dad rarely intervenes in my life without my asking his advice on some subject. And, as I had two meetings planned -one with an artist and her husband, and the other with one of the shops - I was curious to see which would be 'of benefit'. The meeting with Lissa and Kurt was very nice. I feel very much at home with artists and artisans and am happily able to function in both right and left-brained ways. I can do simple accounting as easily as design and making of items. As it happened, the shoe shop was open to the vacation homes rental place next door and they called me in there, so, I went in, talked to the owner, filled in the application, and returned it.

I shall be very interested to see which 'sticks', especially as I had some trouble finding Lissa and Kurt at our tiny Second Saturday Art Fair at the nascent Community Center, and thought at one point, 'well, maybe I should just leave'.

Shift

One of the reasons I decided to begin this record is that I recently underwent a transformation in my relationship with my 'I/There', Higher Self, Claire, and my teacher George. This was due to a life change that I made back in October, quitting my 'safe' day job because I was ill, and it was leave or possibly die, especially as the prescribed meds for my adrenal condition at the level at which I was allowed did not help. This precipitated many unforeseen 'adventures' and 'learning experiences.' This begs the question, 'why are bad things allowed to happen?'The answer to this is complex. Sometimes the answer is ' this was  the life plan before coming in.' Sometimes it is 'this was called to the individual by their vibrational level [thoughts, emotions].'

In an effort to understand this latest in 'a series of unfortunate events', I asked Claire why there was this continually bumpy journey.

Claire: This is due to relying on the judgement and suggestions of George, who while he means well, is too attached [to me] to be balanced in his guidance.

Those pithy words were resonating and revolutionary. I recognised the truth of them when they were spoken. This role of mine, what I think of as 'I' here, was one of the first creations of George's when he moved into creating such roles. It would be fair to say that he was attached to the his creation, and invested in seeing it continue, to a degree that, indeed, was unbalanced. His good intentions of seeing often-ill me 'taken care of' have led me into some very bad space, because I very erroneously trusted his judgement more than my own. I decided after this to follow Claire's advice rather than George's, and to accept that his intentions were good.

If I compare George's way of being to that of Claire, I see a person who is practical, pithy, using logic rather than emotion. She is compassionate, but is not sentimental. Her interest is truly in problem solving in very practical ways. Some people There find her tough, but she is in no way unkind.

Then several weeks later, I was driving home from down 'the Hill' as we call Idyllwild, and out of the blue, for reasons I cannot yet fathom, I asked George what it took for him to be persuaded to make me stay when I was a tiny premature infant suffering apnea, and my twin sister had already died. When my sister died, and I was in such a poor way, there was a meeting with my Life Council, Franz, George, Claire, and Amy (whose 'downline' was my sister.) The Life Council was for my staying; everyone else was against (including me.) George is the one who convinced me, and he was persuaded to do so, I  understood, 'against his desire.' I am given to understand that when a direct question is asked, an answer will be given. I was stunned at George's response. He appeared very abashed.

George: I was persuaded that your continuing would allow my experiment to continue.

 I was livid. Ego. It was all about ego.... Except that it made sense of all his efforts to have me 'taken care of in his absence' in the face of my lifelong illness and soft nature.

It took several weeks for me to get my head around this action, and to forgive it and go on with the relationship. I have done, but I put more stock in what Franz advises and certainly what Claire advises.

These conversations bring up the matter of fallibility, time, and personal growth There. Some people appear to believe that just because someone is dead, they know everything, and have nothing to learn, that there is 'no time' at all and everlasting sameness. But there is a scale of 'time' and growth, though it is of a very different scale to that of the 3D. I have experienced moving from one 'status' to another, one job to another, one abode to another. And the experience with George shows that even a lower Mental plane level discarnate person doesn't have all the answers and is subject to 'learning experiences'. This should not be discouraging, rather the opposite. We are always in a space to grow. For George, he has learned from this not to take his work so personally, to 'let the winds of Heaven dance between you.' For me, I have made a tremendous shift towards greater self-reliance and taking advice as ADVICE, just as I would from a friend or sibling here, not as a directive or as coming from someone who 'knows better' than I.